April rains bring May flowers…
I had a lot of “rain” in April. It wasn’t a fun month and some days it was too much just to breathe. When the end of the month came, I struggled with the fact that four months were already behind us for the year and I was no further ahead in any of my steps toward a healthier, happier life.
I was absolutely shocked to find an early Mother’s Day card in the mail from my daughter living away at college. We haven’t spoken in months and Emily was the last person I ever expected to send me a card on this particular occasion. It didn’t matter to me that she signed the card “sincerely” or that the sentiment was a somewhat twisted (but positive) way of telling me she hopes I have a nice Mother’s Day. The fact that she took the time to make the card (yes, created it online with a photo of her cat), had it printed and sent to her, personally signed and addressed the card to me, and mailed it many days ahead of the actual day—those things brought a huge smile to my face and a warm fuzzy to my heart. My husband was quick to point out that Emily has probably heard through the family grapevine that Brianna is going away to treatment and there will be a car available. I don’t care. It took quite a bit of effort for Emily to get through the huge brick wall she has built and to swallow some of her pride in order to mail that card to me. I see it as a large olive branch and I will grab hold of it. I don’t know where it will lead, but I’m grabbing on just the same.
We are still no closer to Brianna packing her bags to head to treatment, but we are making progress—albeit at a snail’s pace. I appreciate that protocols and procedures must be followed. And I’m grateful that we are not dealing with a true life-or-death situation. But each day that passes is one more day that Bri has to fight temptation at wanting to rebel against this idea that she “must choose” to go to treatment. I consider it a blessing that she is cooperating. And the last two days have been full of surprises as she has taken some responsibility to follow up on some things and even took the initiative to tackle some other things that will need to be completed before she goes. Watching her in the last 48 hours has been nothing short of fresh growth after a good soaking rain.
The coming weeks hold much work and the likelihood of more chaos and drama. There really is so much to do at work, at home, that I feel completely overwhelmed by it all. But how can I ignore the dash of yellow daffodils, the flash of red tulips, and the tender shoots of newly seeded grass in the dogs’ winter spot in the yard? The promise of spring. The wonder of new life. Hope.
… What do May flowers bring?