10. All that money that we had in our pockets last year going through airport security then left behind, totaled more than half a million dollars.
9. Bernie Madoff regrets pleading guilty.
8. I can get a “combo meal” at the local drive-thru for almost the same price as a gallon of gas.
7. I am the only one in my house who knows where to find new rolls of paper towels and toilet paper.
6. I am also the only one who knows how to wash towels.
5. Only blogs that use the words freshly pressed get Freshly Pressed.
4. Jane received an appropriate compliment from Susan in a meeting on Monday for doing a good job. The next day Jane went to Susan’s manager and complained that Susan had singled Jane out in front of others.
3. The CEO of a multi-Billion dollar nonprofit decides to retire because he can’t handle the grueling schedule anymore. None of this nonprofit’s other CEOs in the last 600 years didn’t have this man’s courage. Maybe this nonprofit wouldn’t have had so many lawsuits if they had.
2. Media was so busy telling us about the asteroid, that no one (that I know of) warned us about the meteorite. It must have slipped by our satellites, in stealth mode.
1. Carnival Cruise lines really believes people will want to get on Triumph after a thorough two-month cleaning.