So the spark I thought I saw, I didn’t see. The opportunity I was hoping for went to someone else, less qualified, less experienced. The hiring manager told me, “Don’t let this discourage you from applying for another opening.” Although when pressed, she said there are no other openings and she doesn’t foresee one in the next year.
Fool me once…
At the same time I was interviewing for that position, I had another opportunity heating up with a different company. At first I wasn’t thrilled about it because it’s doing the exact same job that I’m doing now. Just a different company—in a different industry—and a different location. It’s a much farther commute and the wage is the same as I’m making now, so really I’ll be losing money because I’ll be paying more for gas. But at this point I’m so desperate to get out from where I’m at that I’ll seriously consider a longer commute and switching to a different industry. If they’ll have me.
Tomorrow I have an in-person interview that will last several hours and I’ll be meeting with several people (not all at once!). They must be seriously considering me to set aside that much time and involve that many people. I’m not worried about the interview or meeting with that many people. I’m worried that I’m so desperate to get out of where I’m at that I’ll sound desperate. This position requires that I make order out of chaos. I need to be calm and relaxed and controlled in my interview, not desperate.
I must go into work tomorrow for the first half of the day. If any bullies show up at my desk, I may just throw up on them. Ha! Hopefully I’ll enjoy the slightly longer drive to the other company, relaxing and re-energizing along the way. I plan to turn up the radio and play some favorite songs, and sing a mantra of, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can….